Sorry so long. . .

First I want to say sorry for having such a delay in the blog posts:( A LOT has changed... some not really for the best. Check out the timeline at the side to see some general updates.

So after our Dossier was translated we were waiting for our next step, which was getting assigned and accepted by a IAPA (private adoption house). In October we were with out a placement and beginning to get nervous. I guess for good reason. 
 Basically adoption was getting a bad wrap in the country and we were seeing a lot of changes in how adoption was seen and processed. In November we received a call that really shook us.

Our caseworker basically said that because of all the changes NONE of the IAPA's were accepting new families. For how long we were not sure. I felt like someone had just taken all the air out of my lungs. Also, we had to decide if we wanted to change over to the ICBF process- which is like their social services program. ICBF's wait time is more like 4 years!!!  

 THE EMOTIONAL PART

This hit me like a ton of bricks and I will try my best to paint the picture of what this was like for me but I may fall short. 

In all this I have had faithful confidence in God and his ability to bring us the baby we feel He has for us. In my heart, I had a loose plan charted out of how we would get accepted by a IAPA in 2012, then hopefully by June or so we would get a referral and then after Daniel graduated we would travel and pick up our baby! Sounds good right?! This was my plan, and here is the problem: God doesn't work around MY plan. His ways are higher and His plan is greater. I know that but when we got this news in November, I felt all the hope, faith and security ripped away. I had a loose plan, and I felt really sure that it would generally happen that way and in 1 conversation it was all gone. I know this may sound extreme but 2012 was not really filled with much good news for us in the adoption and in our world and this was the cherry on the sundae. 

I am not sure I can begin to explain the pain I felt. This may seem extreme to some but I felt like I had miscarried. I had been carrying around this hope, hope for our baby, that was wrapped up in a plan and now all that was gone. I was devastated. Had God forgot our address? I don't know if this was wrong, but I felt like the plan was what was giving me the strength to go through this difficult adoption process. Now what? 
  
It has been a few months now and I am trying to have peace in the uncertianty and trust that God has a plan. I remind myself every day that I am a daughter of the King and doesn't a father desire to give everything to His daughter!  

PASSING THE TIME

Here are some pictures of baby stuff one of our dear friends gave us. To pass the time I have put it all away in our garage and painted the crib an antique white. 
 











Thank you to everyone praying and believing for us in this journey.