It has been a few months since we last posted. We have been waiting for Dossier approval and we got word from our agency on May 29th.
Simply put Colombia has closed their adoption program to anyone who does not have an approved Dossier. We do not have an approved Dossier so our dream of adopting a Colombian baby is over. Our dream to be parents to an unwanted child, OVER. There is nothing we can do.
Daniel and I are devistated, shocked, and greiving the loss of our baby. For 3 years I/We have carried this baby and now she is gone. We never got to meet her, hold her, or cuddle her. We do... love her! We are now among the thousands of people who have lost a child. I will think of our Colombian baby every day for the rest of my life.
We cannot even begin to put into words our feelings. Daniel is heartbroken, and shocked. However, he is the most incredibly strong and supportive person I know. He is holding us together. As for me, I am not really doing well. All I can say is I have lost our baby.
This has been a roller coaster ride, filled with sickness, extreme highs and lows, crazy twists and turns, and confusion. But the thing keeping us going was knowing at the end we would be holding our little Colombian baby. Now, we will never get to.
As for what's next.... we wait. We heal. We grieve. We hope God has a new story for us.
